Toxic Relationships

ACIM Workbook Lesson# 56

How can I know who I am when I am under constant attack?

Pain, illness, age and death seem to threaten me. All my hopes, wishes, and plans appear to be at the mercy of a world I cannot control.

Yet perfect security and complete fulfillment are my inheritance. I have tried to give my inheritance away in exchange for the world I see.

But God has kept my inheritance safe for me.

How do you know if a relationship (with people, things, habits) is toxic?

Ask yourself,

“Do I have to have this to be happy”?

“Do I feel anxious at the thought of not getting it”?

“Does doing without it make me fearful”?

“Do I feel guilty after I get it”?

If you answer “yes” to these questions, remind yourself that these are red flags alerting you to become aware, through the evidence, that you are giving these things power to control your life.

Facing fear with an attitude of fearlessness. How to be unafraid of fear,

  • Be aware of your response to the posing fear. . “How am I feeling?”
  • Ask yourself, “What do I fear might happen?
  • Realize you can choose “your state of being”.
  • Imagine what could possibly happen. Develop the ability to surrender to the experience and say/feel “So What!”
  • Relax into fearlessness in the midst off fear, instead of going with the fear.
  • Dare to go beyond the “thing” you fear in any situation.
  • See the divine comfort that enters your heart every single time you commit to a greater fearless existence.
  • Imagine what it is that you fear most and then go beyond it.
  • See your ability to experience freedom, bliss and formless present perfection.
  • Formless present perfection is never taken away by any situation.
  • Relax into fearless formless existence for at least 2-5 seconds.
  • How does one overcome fear? Not by force or anger or by opposing fear in any way.
  • Fear weakens you. . How insignificant is fear before the quiet strength of those whom love has joined.


When you come to the place where the branch in the road is quite apparent to you, you cannot go ahead. You must go either one way or the other. For now if you go straight-ahead, the way you went before you reached the branch, you will go nowhere. The whole purpose of coming this far was to decide which branch you will take now. No one who reaches this far can make the wrong decision, although he can delay.
And there is no part of the journey that seems more hopeless and futile than standing where the road branches and not deciding on which way to go.

Recognize you are one with your higher self. Know all power is yours.
You have tried to give away your inheritance in exchange for the world you see.
But deep within you is a power greater than your weakness.
Learn the secret of watching your feelings and not letting them make you doubt yourself.
The person responsible for your happiness or unhappiness is actually living inside you as a voice.

ACIM Lesson 309

Within me is eternal innocence. To look within is but to find my will as God created it, and as it is. Within me is the Holiness of God.

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