Why Am I Holding On To Things That Are Painful

When we have the feeling that we are stuck and can’t free ourselves from things that are painful, it is usually because we believe that what we are experiencing is real. When we feel that what we are experiencing is real, we think we don’t have the freedom to dislodge ourselves from that which is causing us pain.  We feel that we don’t have the power of choice to change our conditions and to shift our perception. This can be the physical body, or an emotion, or that feeling that this is how it is, this is how I am.

We choose to believe that this is what is true. And because we choose to believe that it is true, we choose it again and again and again.  When we buy into “this is real,” there usually comes with it the belief that, if this is real, it’s going to take time to change. You are not going to be able to force your way out of this, but can you begin to see very clearly that you have chosen unconsciously the perception you have taken on about your pain? The important word here is chosen.   In order to get free from things that are causing us pain we have to begin to realize that we are choosing to believe the pain is real.

When you feel stuck emotionally, it may take some practice to see that even your “stuckness” is a choice. Once you can see that even being stuck is a choice, then you can realize you are not actually stuck, but that you are choosing to be stuck. Once you can feel the experience of being caught by the memory of the pain, but know that for some reason you are choosing this feeling,  you will find the pain of the experience lifting.

(ACIM T-16 VI 8:3) The urgency is in dis-lodging your mind from its fixed position. Fear not that you will be abruptly lifted up and hurled into reality. For time is kind and it will keep gentle pace with your transition.

Don’t equate power with the evidence.

This doesn’t always mean that the problem will lift instantly, but you should feel some relief. A grievance, an old emotion can surface, but how you choose to respond to it will determine the difference between being stuck and being free. Observing being stuck as your choice, changes the feeling that you are the victim. The appearance can arise, but you know that is not who you are.

Take ownership. How you choose to respond to an old “cherished” memory will determine how long you need to hold on to that experience.  You can allow what is to be what is, but you change your attitude toward what is. Nothing changes except you understand this is by choice. This will allow you very gently to start making changes. Simply by seeing yourself in a more empowering way.

No one can be free from his problem until he understands what purpose the problem serves.

The problem is not an accident. Like all defenses, it is a device for self-deception. Like all problems, its purpose is to hide, attack, change, distort or twist who you really are.

Problems are not unintentional nor are they made without your awareness. They are magic wands you wave when truth appears to threaten what you believe about yourself.

They seem to be unconscious only because of the rapidity with which you choose to see them.

It is in that second or less, in which you make the choice, that you recognize exactly what you would attempt to do, and then you proceed.

Who but you evaluates the decision?

Afterward, your plan requires that you must forget you made the plan. It seems to be something external to your decision. It appears as if it’s a happening beyond your control. It becomes an outcome with an effect on you instead of an outcome affected by yourself.

All problems are the thoughts that silence your true identity. Your true identity is the haunting thought that you might be something greater than your littleness.

And you believe that it is this  that can cause you to suffer, twist your limbs, stop your heart, command you to die and cease to be.

Truth has a power. And it comes to any mind that will lay down its arms and cease to engage. It is found at any time or any place.

This is our goal. Open your mind to the idea that Truth doesn’t come from someplace.

It has never been apart from us. It merely waits for your invitation.Healing will flash across your mind to take the place of anger, guilt, and fear.

You do not realize that Truth removes the limits you have placed upon your body by the purpose you gave your body.

As these limits are laid aside, the strength the body has will be enough to serve all truly useful purposes.

The body’s health is fully guaranteed, because it is not limited by time, weather, fatigue, food, drink or any laws you made it serve before.

For now, this protection needs to be carefully watched. If you let your mind harbor attack thoughts, yield to judgment, or make plans against uncertainties to come, you have again misplaced yourself and made a bodily identity, which will attack the body.



Today I start the day with joy, expecting only happy things to come to me.

I ask and realize that what I desire will come to me.

The healing voice from my True Self protects all things today.

I need be anxious over nothing.

The voice from my True Self tells me what to do….where to go….to whom to speak…and what to say.

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